marriage. moving & misplaced normality.

soft sunlight filters through the window. casting shadows upon the carpet. mixing with the orange glow from the fire that flickers in its own gas like way. i sit wrapped in my blanket on our borrowed recliner. a cup of my favourite tea is sitting half sipped beside me, the words on the tag read this life is a gift. i look around at this life gift & my heart sighs "for these days i prayed." 

an old washing machine is humming in the background mixing with the sound of the dryers contents being tossed around. if you listen carefully the odd bird song can be heard over it all. i wonder what a birds perspective of a fresh snowy morning is. i spend my days melting into a new normal yet desperately grasping at things that feel comfy. my pen lays upon an open journal that holds the thoughts of a new wife in a strange land & i find myself there often in a day. & for a few moments i feel less of an imposter & more of me. as i stand at the sink i see my frequent bird visitors perched in a backyard tree & i smile as my thoughts wander down a trail of how such moments are shaping this new normal i am melting into. 

from the kitchen window i am able to spot the creek that marks the back border of our property, walking down there i dream of spring & summer. our neighbours are close yet i forget that i live in town as i watch the water flow in a swift & wintery way. our home is nestled on the edge of the little village of fredericksburg. each road leading out climbs up a hill & altho sunsets are hard to find from below it is cozy to see the faint pink in the sky reminding me of life lived in the mountains. as we drive along we pass buggies & bikes & people on foot even as the temperature drop below freezing. all signs that i am living in a land that is filled with culture that i know nothing about. porches are filled with laundry flapping in the winter wind & smoke slowly winds its way out the chimneys. i find myself strolling the aisles of bulk food stores & ordering cheese at the deli counter. as i walk out the door i laugh a little to myself. "how is this the life that i am living" 

we take saturdays as lazy adventure days. we find antique stores to wander through & i can't contain the happies as we load the most perfect old dresser into the truck with the vision of its new purpose as a coffee station. & on guidance from mom in law we found a greenhouse filled with all the houseplants of your dreams. i am not very adept in plant mom knowledge & i am fearful that all the green that has entered the house will soon loose their leaves but i aspire to learn. with the help of google :)

& lets be real :) its scary to be in a place where your fellow church people all look like strangers. & days get lonely where i wish for a friend that knows my heart. HOWEVER this life is also filled with so many moments to live in. so many moments to find the little God touches. & to feel the strangeness of all the new. so many opportunites to choose gratitude. & time to talk with the Father. this life truly is a gift & the moments of joy are what i choose to look for. 

i pray that you see God today. 

until next time.